Friday, April 22, 2011

Food & Drug Administration

Uh, Dear Food & Drug Administration ... could you please consider putting a warning label on jalepeno peppers? "Warning: Do not use the bathroom immediately after cutting these things up!" Holy crap.

Friday, April 15, 2011

Selling Naming Rights

I am selling the naming rights to the Dead Squirrel Facebook page and Blog. Please feel free to submit proposals. I will drink specific beer brands, eat whatever crap I need to or wear your company branded  underwear.

Here are a few that sound pretty good to me:
-Dead Miller Lite Squirrel
-Dead Weight Watchers Squirrel
-Dead Cheez-It Squirrel

Saturday, April 9, 2011

Holy Crap

Holy Crap, I just realized that I have been playing XBox since March 18. Is that normal?

Sunday, April 3, 2011

Announcing Candidacy

I am proud to officially announce my candidacy for President of the United States of the America. I will bring integrity back to the oval office and this country. I vow to lower beer prices. I vow to institute mandatory recess in the workplace. I hope I spelled candidacy right .. that would suck if I started all of this with a mispelled word.

My short list of possible running mates include:
-Palin (Bristol)

-Dr. Phil
-The Weather Guy from channel 4
-Rick James (he's still alive, right)?