Tuesday, April 17, 2012

Poopon

Watch out Groupon. I have started my own site. It's called Poopon. I sell crap at half price! I will start with this toilet paper. Normally $1.00 per roll ... today only $.50 cents.

Spy

Thanks for checking in with Dead Squirrel today. Your boss has hired me to track everyone who has logged in via Facebook during work hours. Excuse me, I need to send off my report.

Friday, November 25, 2011

Prescription for uncertainty

Do you ever feel unsure of yourself? Maybe you feel like your "different" and nobody really understands you. Well, Dr. Dead Squirrel prescribes one trip to the mall to look at all of the people. You should feel better about yourself shortly.

Friday, August 19, 2011

Las Vegas Come Back

Ladies & Gentlemen, I am proud to announce that I have just signed a deal for a come back concert in Las Vegas. Watch for my upcoming photos. Viva Dead Squirrel!
*Last time I was in Vegas, I spilled red wine in my lap and even the hookers wouldn't talk to me because they thought I had something odd going on down there. 

Friday, June 17, 2011

Dead Wiener Squirrelltzenager

Ladies & Gentlemen

I will not be stepping down even though my sexting photo's (below) have made it to the public eye. I have been working out and I am proud of my Sqoobs (squirrel boobs).

*On a side note, I would like to let the public know that there is a possibility that I am the child of Arnold Schwartzenager and I will be asking for DNA testing. I realized that we may be related once I started working out. 

Sunday, May 8, 2011